The Colleague You Haven’t Spoken to in a Month — Reach Out This Week

Life is a shared experience so no matter how shy or introverted you are, we are all better together.

In my line of work as a conultant relationships are everything; but above and beyond work I'm a husband, a son, a best friend, a mentor, and so much more to so many different people. I'm sure you can say the same in your own right. So what are we doing to make sure that we actively improve and sustain our relationships? In this digital world it's never been harder to feel disconnected (how ironic, right?). So this week let's prioritize building strong relationships...

It doesn't have to be your entire contact list, but pick at least one person per week and put time on their calendar do nothing but connect. Not a like on Instagram or a comment on Facebook. Pick up your phone and call or text someone. Maybe grab a coffee or tea. Or maybe invite them to an event you want to attend. Whatever your thing is, make some time to develop relationships with others like your life depends on it, because I believe it does.

We Are More Disconnected Than We Admit

Of course, I had to do some research so that I have some data to ponder on and share. In my research I found that 58% of U.S. adults are considered lonely according to the UCLA Loneliness Scale. (Source: WifiTalents, Loneliness Epidemic Statistics 2026)

More than half of American workers classify as lonely — and research finds that loneliness has significant implications for work productivity, job satisfaction, and overall company performance. (Source: Cigna Group, Loneliness in America)

I also found this stat that I'm not sure what to make of at this moment which stated that "loneliness costs the U.S. economy an estimated $406 billion annually in workplace absenteeism and lost productivity". (Source: Reach Out Recovery, The Loneliness Epidemic in 2026) And perhaps most starkly: the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy (who looks like he drinks solely from the fountain of youth, might I add), has declared loneliness a "national epidemic", noting that lacking social connections carries health risks equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes daily — greater than the risks associated with obesity and physical inactivity. He even wrote a phenomenal book on it. (Source: UC Health / U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory)

All of this to say we are, by every measurable standard, living through what I call a "Relationship Health Crisis" and it's affecting people in ways seen and unseen. Somewhere there's a "popular" kid who feels just as much disconnect with people as a true loner.

What the Science Actually Says About Small Interactions

Most people assume that meaningful connection requires depth — long conversations, strong friendships, significant investment. While I believe those three to be tenant to strong relationships, much of my research (more like, hours of Google and Claude AI queries) says otherwise.

83% of people report feeling better at least a moderate amount of the time after casual contact with acquaintances, and nearly half — 47% — feel better a great deal or a lot of the time. (Source: PMC / "The Impact of Loneliness and Social Anxiety on Casual Social Contacts") Not a heart-to-heart. Not a lunch. A "casual" interaction with someone you know peripherally. That's enough to measurably shift your mood and reduce feelings of isolation right there.

Additionally, a comprehensive review published in the Journal of Management, analyzing 233 empirical studies, found that workplace loneliness is not a personal issue — it's a business issue — and that the quality of social relationships at work directly shapes employee wellbeing, engagement, and performance. (Source: Phys.org / Portland State University, Journal of Management, 2026)

Throughout my career in Corporate America I've worked with some of the best and brightest at some of the most renowned corporations and consistenly I've seen that the "best", the highest ranking, and the highest paid are seldom the most skilled. What they all have always had in common is that they were well connected...

The Career Science Behind the "Weak Tie"

This is where things get interesting for anyone thinking about relationships as it relates to their career; and it's why my call to action is with colleagues.

In 1973, Stanford sociologist Mark Granovetter published what would become one of the most cited papers in social science history — "The Strength of Weak Ties." His argument was simple and surprising: the people most likely to open new doors for you professionally are not your closest friends and colleagues. They're your acquaintances. The people you know but don't talk to every day. If me saying that I am living proof of this is not enought(as humbly as I can put it, you have to check my resume to substantiate this "proof" as valid to you or not), fifty years later, researchers from MIT, Harvard, Stanford, and LinkedIn ran the largest empirical test of this theory ever conducted.

They analyzed data from multiple large-scale randomized experiments on LinkedIn's "People You May Know" algorithm, studying over 20 million people over a five-year period, during which 2 billion new ties and 600,000 new jobs were created. (Source: Science, "A Causal Test of the Strength of Weak Ties", 2022)

The finding was unambiguous. The stronger the newly added ties were, the less likely they were to lead to a job transmission. Weak ties led to more job opportunities overall. (Source: MIT News, "The Power of Weak Ties in Gaining New Employment")

As the study authors put it in Harvard Business Review, moderately weak ties "strike a balance between exposing you to new social circles and information and having enough familiarity and overlapping interests so that the information is useful." (Source: Time / Charter, "How to Use Weak Ties to Get Your Next Job")

Translation: the colleague you haven't spoken to in a month, the mentor you last emailed in the fall, the professional contact you keep meaning to follow up with — those relationships are not dormant assets. They are active career infrastructure that depreciates the longer you leave them untended.

Why We Don't Reach Out — And Why That's the Wrong Call

The main reason I believe people don't send the message to connect in Corporate America is because they don't want to seem like they only reach out when they need something.

And honestly, I believe that's an instinct worth honoring. The fix, though, is incredibly simple... It is not silence — it's the no-ask message.

A no-ask message is exactly what it sounds like. You reach out with no request, no agenda, and no ask attached. You share something relevant to them, acknowledge that you've been thinking of them, or simply say you hope they're doing well. Nothing transactional. Nothing you need in return.

For individuals, the findings from the MIT/LinkedIn study suggest the importance of actively managing social networks to be as broad as possible. In an economy increasingly dependent on social networks, 'friends of friends' and professional contacts are serious paths to better jobs, talent pools, and career advancement. This is why I urge us all to make a weekly no-ask reach out part of our work routines. Trust me it has been paramount to my own career. I might tell you a joke, but I won't tell you a lie...

How to Do It — The No-Ask Message

So in closing, here's the framework. Keep it simple:

Start with an observation, not an apology. Don't open with "I know it's been forever since we talked" — that frames the message as an acknowledgment of failure. Start with something genuine about them: a piece of news relevant to their field, a project you know they've been working on, or something they shared previously that stuck with you.

Make it specific. "I saw this article and immediately thought of you" or "Hey, you were on my mind so I wanted to check in" lands much better than "Hope you're doing well." Specificity is what signals that this isn't a mass reach-out. It says: I was thinking of you, specifically.

Keep it short. A no-ask message doesn't need paragraphs. Two to four sentences is enough. The goal is to open a door, not walk through it, close it, and rearrange the furniture. Leave room for them to respond.

Be genuine and require nothing in return. End without a question that demands a reply. Let the message be complete in itself. If they respond, great. If they don't, you've still done something good — for them and for your own sense of connection. Just move to the next person if this reach out doesn't resuly in a response or positive connection.

You are one message away from improving someone's week. Probably including yours. So go for it. I'll be rooting for you!

Will Everett is the author of The KPIs of Life. Follow along at thekpisoflife.com and on socials @thekpisoflife.